Wednesday, 27 July 2011



For all those contemplating the idea of buying a new car or purchasing a new home, the headlines on all leading dailies in the country on Wednesday, 27 July 2011 would be nothing less than disappointing. As the Reserve Bank Of India announces hikes in car and home loans in a desparate attempt to wrest the rising inflation, the ‘aam janta’ may have suddenly found an unlikely villain, RBI Governor D Subbarao
But before you go all guns blazing at the good old man, just ponder on for a moment. Afterall, he is just trying to make amends for the lavish expenditure that the central government has incurred in the last few years, and trying to bridge the enormous budget deficit left in its wake. The RBI’s action might get the brickbats flying towards it, but it is just trying to clear the mess created by the Central Government.

Anyways, coming back to the topic of my article, buying cars, homes as present would perhaps be a forbidden territory for a majority of the tax-payers.But there are a lot of other products that you could buy.  And what more, our top politicians, ministers, those in the corridors of power are endorsing them. You don’t believe me, well you just might after gazing through the article.

Dr. Manmohan Singh- Product:  ‘Bose MS’ Soundbox

The latest joke doing the rounds on the social networking websites is that patrons entering a movie hall are being implored to put their mobile phones on ‘Manmohan Singh’ mode. At a time when his government is embattled with corruption charges, the latest rant being from A. Raja himself about his alleged knowledge about the dubius dealings in the 2g case, Singh resorts to his greatest weapon- Silence.

Being an economist himself, isn’t it time he took the reins in his hand and formulated a policy to swerve us straight out the ‘inflation blitzkrieg’? As someone, who leads the government of the world’s second largest democracy, what stops him from coming clear on all the charges levelled against his government?  Is his allegiance only restricted to 10 Janpath Road or does the domain extend to the entire nation as well?

I am sure the last time Manmohan Singh called upon his dentist for a check up, the latter must have taken a dig at him as well. He must have said, “Atleast open your mouth now”

P. Chidambaram – Product:  PC Security Alarm System

As three bomb blasts on 13/7 ripped through the city of Mumbai, India’s commercial hub, thereby exposing India’s vulnerability to terror attacks, Mr. P. Chidambaram, Union Home Minister seemed a content man the very next day while addressing the press in Mumbai. Retorting to a question directed by a journalist, Chidambaram insisted that Mumbai was a ‘safe haven’ and that there has been no terror attack on the city for the last 31 months. To deconstruct his statement further, what he meant was that the security deployed in Mumbai is so ‘extraordinarily’ tight, that those intending to strike terror on the shores of the city had to wait for 31 months after 26/11 to finally get an opportunity. Any sane person’s instant reaction to such a statement would be, “ROFLMAO”.

The reality, that our Home Minister perhaps would choose to ignore, is that every nook and corner of the country is on the brink of terror. We are at the mercy of the terrorists for our lives. For it is they who draft up the ploy to sabotage the peaceful fabric of our nation. And all we get in the name of security and in return for the tax we pay to the exchequer are policemen  equipped with 3-not- 3 rifles and the famous danda to thwart the bullets from  AK 47 and other automated machine guns.

The Maoist insurgency in around ten Indian states remains the biggest internal threat to India till date. In 2009, Manmohan Singh had bluntly pointed out that the country was losing the battle against the Maoist rebels. Come 2011, the government  it seems have surrendered to the Maoists and have dug up graves for them to do the needful.

In 2010 alone, we lost over a thousand lives to Maoist attacks. In 2011, the toll stands  at over 300 till June. God only knows, how many more fatalities has been hidden under the radar and concealed from the media. And yet, there has not been a single foolproof strategy to counter the threat in the Red Corridors.Or for that matter, constructive efforts to bring back the Maoists to return to the mainstream of society.

Reports of violations of Line Of Control by the Chinese Army pour in on a regular basis. The People’s Liberation Army even has the audacity on marking the presence of China on boulders and rocks belonging to the Indian soil. What steps has the Home Ministry in consultation with the Ministry of Defence taken to avert such perpetual infiltrations?

So if you want your home , ‘safe and sound’, its time you got the PC Security Alarm System installed.

BS Yeddyurappa: Product: Mantra healed ruby gem stone

Indicted along with other Karnataka heavyweights by the Lokayukta Report for causing a loss of Rs 16085 crore through illegal mining, the beleaguered Karnataka Chief Minister now invokes the blessings of God to save his throne. The other damning charges pressed against the CM are donations to the tune of Rs 10 crore by a mining company to the trust of the CM’s kin and him selling private land to a mining company for a whopping 20 crores.

But a vividly optimistic and defiant BSY, who just returned from the exotic climes of Mauritius after a family holiday still expresses a fervent desire to continue for two more years and passes the buck to the PM and the Home Minister, questioning their moral right to continue in office after the recent charges levelled against them by the tainted former Telecom Minister A. Raja.

With clamours for his removal within the BJP itself getting stronger by the day, party President Nitin Gadkari, it seems would have to engage in a lot of permutation , combinations before arriving at a decision. Though after Wednesday’s indictment, his exit seems imminent, the party would have to pre-empt the backlash it could face from the Lingayat community in Karnataka, of which he remains a popular leader.

A cat has nine lives. BS Yeddyurappa has eleven. In the past few years the ‘Destiny’s Child’ has survived eleven attempts of assassination of his political career. Well, this time however, he finally might have to vacate the CM’s post but his tenacity and zeal to fight back has is praiseworthy.
So, if you’re in search for luck in your professional and personal life, contact Bookanakere Siddhalingappa Yeddyurappa at his Race Course Road residence in Bangalooru.  Extra charges are to be levied for private consultations.
In a similar fashion, Nitin Gadkari would shortly be endorsing ‘Slimming Belts’, LK Advani would  sign up for an ‘anti-ageing cream’ campaign and Sushma Swaraj would soon be roped in as the brand ambassador for the next big Dance Reality Show.
Wonder, what/ who a certain Mr Digvijaya Singh who pledged political exile in 2003  would endorse?  The Gandhi family scion Rahul Gandhi, may be.

P.S- The writer of this article does not endorse ‘slander and profanity’.The right to freedom of speech and expression? Well, may be!

1 comment:

  1. Very well written. Humour it seems is the author's strong point and is used very well throughout. After entertainment and politics, an article on sports is most awaited.